


Blood

by Selenite1



Category: Utena
Genre: Angst, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-03-11
Updated: 2003-06-19
Packaged: 2013-05-13 12:29:52
Rating: T
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,962
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1266383/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/284099/Selenite1
Summary: Touga and Saionji slowly discover a hidden tie between them. No, it's not quite what you think. Chapter two now added. Please r+r





	1. Default Chapter

These characters are not mine and I'm not making one red cent off this. This story may start off slow at first but I hope that you, dear reader, will find it more interesting as it progresses. So please enjoy.  
  
Blood Part One  
  
By Selenite  
  
Hmmm, weird. I always thought that my blood type was O. Or at least that's what I remember my parents telling me. But the proof is right in front of me, printed on this flimsy piece of paper along with the rest of the test results. My parents must have lied. I was due for a physical last week. Blood tests, reflexes, pupils dilating, and thermometer jammed under the tongue, the whole works. The results say that I'm in good physical shape. No surprise there really. All except for this one thing, my blood type. I swear I thought I was an O.  
  
I rarely see my parents. I don't want to talk about why. Maybe they won't mind if I write them a letter. That won't be as bad as a phone call, would it? Letters are more impersonal anyway. Perhaps then they won't be so angry.  
  
Classes will be over for the day soon, thank God. High school will be over soon. I'm graduating this year and have the fucking backbreaking load of studying to prove it. Still, I am glad that I'm finally getting out of here. I've spent most of my school years here at Ohtori Academy. I remember at first how impressed by and frightened I was of it. But now I am just frightened of it.  
  
The Ohtori buildings are so huge, so white and immaculate. I remember being afraid of getting lost and being late to my first classes when I came here. But they are also beautiful. The place used to amaze me with the unblemished gardens and spotless halls. But there was also something else; something that I still can't put my finger on. Ohtori is sort of.. timeless, I guess. You could spend six months here and it would feel like six seconds, or six seconds would feel like six months. It's almost as if this school is it's own little reality.  
  
Now I find it creepy here. I think it started late last year even though I don't remember much. It was at first the other students. God, I've been going here for years and I never noticed how most people here only look happy. Sure, they smile, laugh at jokes, and go out on dates, but so many, even a few of the teachers, seem mostly happy to drown in their own worlds. And those worlds are hardly ever nice ones. Something about watching that feels familiar and t is something that I'd rather not be familiar with. That part of my life is over.  
  
Yeah, I hate this white-pillared monstrosity where everyone nurses some kind of fucking wound now. I can't wait to get out of here with Touga. I'm studying with Touga tonight at his place. Perhaps I'll talk to him about convincing Nanami to transfer. Heh, maybe I'll ask if her remembers me saying anything about my blood type being an A and not an O. Or maybe I won't. It might sound stupid to him. But he's known me for so long, we're so close and now we....  
  
God, I wonder why this is bothering me.  
  
He asked me if I knew what his blood type was. After that is, he brought up getting my sister to transfer again. Dully, I remember asking, "Aren't you an O?" He wasn't looking at me. Kyouichi fixed those purple eyes on his notes. Did I remember him ever saying that he was an A? No, I couldn't say that I did. He frowned and I lost my poise for a moment. His eyes were no longer on the notebook; they were fixed on me with such earnesty and anticipation. Royal purple eyes, such openness, nakedness, and trust. So lovely, my Kyouichi. And finally mine.  
  
He spoke "I thought that it was O. You know that physical I had? Last week? I got the results today and they say my type's A. But you know, I swear that my parents told me that it was O." After a pause, "How could I be so stupid as to not know my own blood type?" At this, I frowned, a bit unsure of what to say. It was a new sensation, unsurety. No, an old one that I could barely recall knowing. I knew that I should comfort my Kyouichi somehow, for it was obvious that this matter disturbed him a bit. Besides, I don't like to see him upset.  
  
There was also something on my mind besides studying as well, some project of mine that I had a bit to do with blood.....  
  
And then a memory hit me. Not quite a memory, something vague, something that barely touched my consciousness. Wasn't Nanami upset over something to do with blood last year? No. Yes, that. That was when....  
  
"Touga? Your blood type's A, right?"  
  
I cam out of my reverie. He was still looking at me, still with a problem that needed solving. My Kyouichi needed me. "Yes it is. And I wouldn't lose too much sleep over this. It probably means very little, some mistake or an old confused memory. So you're really an A and not an O. There's still the graduation finals." I got up, pulled him close to me, and wrapped my arms around him. Ah, now this was better. "Don't worry, love. The two of us will be out of here soon. And we'll be together." Kyouichi said nothing and pressed against me.  
  
He didn't bring it up again that night. But I could tell by his silence that he was still troubled, still brooding over it. We both had our own things to brood and think over. He and his blood, I and my project.  
  
Okay. Touga always thought that I was on O too. All right then. He also thought that it was no big deal and hugged me. At least that part was good. And it may very well be nothing. He may have only thought I was an O because I stupidly thought I was an O. But....  
  
But still. I'm wondering if I really should write to my parents. What would happen if they got angry with me? Maybe they'll think it's nothing too. That would be the best outcome. But should I really write them? Yes, no, no, yes, damn it! Maybe Touga was right. Maybe it was just a little mistake. But I still want to know and they might be able to tell me. Did they lie?  
  
Okay, I'll write the letter tomorrow after class, and studying, and Kendo practice...No, now. Then I'll mail it tomorrow.  
  
Damn it all to hell! Why the fuck is this bothering me? 


	2. Blood Part Two

Welcome to the second part of Blood. I hope you find that the story gets more interesting here. And as usual, I don't own these characters and am not making one red cent off this.  
  
Blood Part Two By Selenite  
  
Alright, Saionji. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Focus your mind and calm down.  
  
I sent the letter today. Last night I wrote it just like I promised myself. Actually, I wrote it about five times. I just couldn't get the words to fit on the paper. Why am I so damn bothered about something so simple as a letter? Well, the answer kind of..it hurts.  
  
It's about my parents. The letter's for them. They're not the sort of people who should be having kids but they did anyway. I'm positive that they didn't genuinely want me, they just wanted someone to carry on the family name. I think that's why I got so close to Touga. I could tell that he had some of the same problems although he never told me. How do I know that they didn't want me? It's easy, they told me so. Very often actually, along with me being a burden and too thin, too small and pale, and that they hated me..and you know what? I hate them.  
  
They sent me to a private school and gave me the best Kendo lessons. They paraded me in front of company and acted like I was their precious little boy. But they treated me like shit! They yelled at me for being a necessary evil, they beat me over the stupidest things like a spilled cup of tea. And I would believe that it was all my fault, that if I was a better kid, they wouldn't scream at or hit me. I never once blamed them. I should have. Do you know how long it took me to understand that it was not okay to hit people just because my parents did it to me? I don't want to tell you.  
  
I used to be absolutely miserable and angry. I didn't think that I could ever earn love because I couldn't get it from them. But I still wanted it. Now I have love with someone and I haven't spoken a word to my parents in about two months. It was his idea to have as little contact with them as possible, really. Touga could see how they always hurt me. He never told me that he and Nanami are adopted but I know. And I never told him about what my parents do to me but he knows. We know each other like that, we understand each other. That's why I love him back. He makes me feel worthwhile and deserving of love. I can't tell you how good that feels.  
  
But I still want to know about this thing that's been bothering me, this thing about my bloodtype. Why did my parents say I was an O when I wasn't? If I'm lucky they won't send a legion of hurricanes and pestilence my way and actually deign to tell me why they lied. Maybe from there I can ask them why they treat me the way they do. Well, why not? I've been very luck lately, I have Touga to help me.  
  
***  
My project. I haven't told Kyouichi about it. I haven't even told Nanami about it. Although if I find anything out I think that I will tell her.  
  
I can remember when my parents died. I was four years old and Nanami was barely one. She was much too young to have known what had happened. I was however, just barely so. Of course the memory is hazy but I do remember that it was a car crash. Even now the thought of a car crash disturbs me. I can't remember much about my life before then. It's as if their deaths loom above everything else in my early memories to the point of erasing them. There are vague impressions of my parents' faces and seeing Nanami for the first time. And there is something else that I can't quite remember. But that something must have been very important. I don't know why I know this anymore than I know why I forgot it.  
  
The Kiryuus adopted the both of us. They were in search of heirs and we badly needed a family. It seemed perfect at first. When I first learned that Nanami and I were going to be adopted I felt as if my life had finally given me back some control, some sense of stability. When I first met my new parents I was both pleased and terrified. They were rich like my real parents were and the house was so big and the things in it seemed so impressive to me. But what if they didn't like us? What if they had changed their minds and didn't want us after all? Would we go back to the orphanage then?  
  
But they did keep us. And they seemed nice enough if a bit formal and detached, at least to a four year old boy who wanted a family and stability so very much. We grew up as Kiryuus and Nanami never knew that it wasn't always that way for us. It seemed cruel to tell her the truth. We were surrounded by luxury, formality, and wealth.  
  
But I still pined for something else besides control over my life and the safety of my sister. I wanted familiarity, family. Nanami was family but she was too young and depended on me too much to provide the support that I wanted. Although now she has matured a bit since then and I'm grateful for that for the both of us. The Kiryuus gave us the best of everything but they were frequently unavailable due to business. They still are as a matter of fact. And it was apparent that they didn't really know what to do with children except that children could be groomed into heirs. I need something more than that and so does my sister.  
  
This is what my project is: I am looking for my blood family. Surely our parents couldn't have been our only relatives. Perhaps that is what that something that I forgot is, the faces of aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I'm not quite sure of what I will do if I find anyone. If there are blood relatives, why didn't they take us in? What could we possibly say to each other after so many years? Perhaps I will content myself with knowing that Nanami and I are not alone with our blood and not contact any of them. Perhaps then I will be satisfied.  
  
I won't let the Kiryuus know about this. This is being paid with my own funds from some stock ventures that my father got me into as "training" for taking up the family business. While they certainly could have done better they did take us in when the future looked so bleak. Considering that, I don't want to hurt them although I think that wouldn't have mattered to me before. No matter, a lot of things matter to me now.  
  
Ah, Kyouichi. You and Nanami have always mattered to me. I remember wishing that if I had another relative he would be just like you. But of course I like being your lover very much too.  
  
When I first realized how your parents treat you behind closed doors I was shocked and infuriated. How could anyone treat you like that? You seemed so sweet, so pure and yet unhappy. And frequently bruised. I swore to be there for you and protected you as much as I could from them. Although your sweet innocence and companionship was enough to make me swear that already. You and Nanami give me strength and conviction. Please Kyouichi, please keep doing so. I need your strength for my project. 


	3. Blood Part Three

These characters are not mine and I'm not making one red cent off this story.  
  
Blood Part Three  
by Selenite  
  
Touga's noticed how I've been acting lately. I'm not quite sure what to say, what explanation I can give him. The truth? That's a little scary. I will have to tell him though. But I'm afraid that he'll be angry. He knows how I feel about them and I know that he suggested that I have as little contact with them as possible. If I tell him why I'm so nervous, Touga will know that I violated his trust. But still, I do owe it to him.  
  
The problem is that I can't even believe it myself and yet it explains so damn much. I mean, I don't look anything like my parents. My father's hair is dark and he has brown eyes. My mother's eyes are hazel and her hair is dark too. Why the hell I didn't see this before? I need to tell Touga about this. If I can, maybe he'll help me sort this out. Although he has gotten kind of distant lately....  
  
I've made up my mind. I'll tell him about the letter.  
  
*****************  
  
I'm worried about Kyouichi. Something's wrong. something's been wrong ever since that stupid thing about his blood. I've also been short with him lately. Sifting through official records has proven difficult, especially when those records are nearly impossible to obtain. I knew that this project would be hard and that I would need all the support that I could get. Yet I had kept this from the Kiryuus, my sister, and Kyouichi.  
  
The Kiryuus and my sister, I'm afraid that my project would hurt them. I idin't tell Kyouichi either. I...I just wasn't sure if I could tell him. As much as I care about him, as much I want him to trust me and me to trust him, I can still feel myself shrink from the idea of telling Kyouichi something so personal. And it shames me. But I still need him.  
  
He supports me when I can't burden Nanami with my troubles and yet I still can't tell him about my project. Kyouichi's growing distant, he's preoccupied and troubled by something. I know the feeling and yet I'm disturbed to see this behavior, for he pretends that nothing's wrong when something obviously is and it infuriates me. What infuriates me even more is the shame, I can see the same behavior in myself.  
  
Sooner or later, I will have to tell him. Our secrets are affecting our relationship in a bad way. But how and when to tell him, ah, that's the difficult part. For now, I will only trust that the time will present itself. I'm too cowardly to do anything else.  
  
****************  
  
that night  
  
Kyouichi sighed and took a breath, hoping to steady himself. He had suggested a break earlier, hoping that by then he would have the courage. He still didn't have it now but was determined to say it anyway.  
  
"Touga."  
  
"Hmmm.", Touga looked up at him over a cup of tea. Something had been antagonizing his mate the entire evening and damned if he could figure out what it was.  
  
"Touga, I.."  
  
Yes, what is it, Saionji?", Touga asked, hoping to soothe the other boy with the ease of his voice.  
  
Kyouichi closed his eyes for a moment, the eyelids beating fiercely with his pulse. "I sent them a letter."  
  
"Them? Whos' them?"  
  
'You know who, Touga. Them. My parents."  
  
Touga's eyes set and his hands put the cup down. The temptation on his tongue was to berate Kyouichi. Damn it all! He had told the other boy not to do so in order to protect him. He decided against it and instead resolved to find out why Kyouichi would do something so..dangerous for him. "Kyouichi, why did you do that? We both know what kind of people they are. We decided that it was best to let them keep up appearances of being a good family from a safe distance. We decided that you shouldn't contact them unless necessary."  
  
"I needed to ask them something. I needed to know about my blood, Touga."  
  
"God, not that thing again. Are you telling me that you wrote to them over that? Why?"  
  
Kyouichi was silent for while. Further irritated, Touga prompted again, "Kyouichi, why?"  
  
"They aren't my real parents."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"They wrote me back. I was adopted because they knew my real parents and needed an heir. Assholes even sent me copies of the official papers."  
  
"Where are these papers, this letter. I want to see them, Kyouichi."  
  
Kyouichi tenderly brought out he papers from inside a folder of his. He handed them to Touga and waited, silent and tense, eyes cast downward. Touga studied the papers one by one, stunned by the implication of their content, the meaning they held for his friend.  
  
"My God, Kyouichi."  
  
"What I don't understand is why they took me in. They hate me! How the hell did they feel about my real family?"  
  
"Kyouichi...", Touga whispered the name again, unsure of what to do and how to make things better, instead simply falling back on Kyouichi's name and hoping it conveyed the sympathy he felt.  
  
"Kyouichi's face looked paler than usual and determined. "They haven't told me the whole story. I need to find that out from them."  
  
"No.", Touga embraced him and breathed the word on his cheek, wanting to dissuade him from such a dangerous action. "Kyouichi, don't. Don't make it harder for you. Don't." He winced slightly as he remembered the story that he wanted to find out.  
  
Kyouichi's body melted into and returned the hug. His eyes still held the spirit of resolution, determination. Touga didn't see his eyes but felt what they held all the same. He prayed that his lover wouldn't come out of this too hurt.  
  
Sorry that it's been so long between chapters but I've been having doubts about this story. If you have any comments, feel free to email me at hselenite@aol.com 


End file.
